So I wrote this about being in “isolation” and now we’re “coming out of isolation” so it’s changed again. But it’s all relevant. The terms need (re) negotiating. Stop settling for how it is, or has been, and use this time (whether you got a break or some space or not) to create something new and better. If you want to make this whole ‘coming out of isolation’ thing work, you’ll need to renegotiate the terms. Of everything. And if you’re a person who didn’t even discuss the terms previously, you’ll really need to do this. If you have no terms of operation, you’ll have to create some. With the people you’re in life with. Who for me and many I know is your immediate family. And to be honest, some of these things should probably have been negotiated before and should continue long after the pandemic lets us out of this live history class.
Im grateful for many things, but I was drowning in the reality of life at home as a (not) home-schooling housewife of 4 kids who were all going through their process about what this means to them, and I was wavering between embracing the time and space and home, floundering in boredom and being overwhelmed if I had more than 2 hours of work per day and wondering long-term if don’t invest in my (already online business) RIGHT NOW what will happen to it and me. I’m in coaching groups and have incredible friends and wise mentors (who mostly do not have children or young children at home, and some of whom are also not in a relationship) who can see this incredible opportunity to do business and support people and grab all the massive bargains in the coaching world and learn new things and get their business cranking and I was flailing in this space of HOW THE F*@K DO I CHOOSE?
The truth? What I always chose was my business. What I always chose was my work. When I got stressed or broke or bored, I worked more, I learnt more, I found things to invest in that would help me grow and I went with it. And I cannot change what has been and I always believe everything is perfect as it is, even if it’s hard to see until later. But right now, it feels like I must choose the things that mean the most. Right now, the people who I want to serve in work are all the people I am already working with or who have worked with me before. Supporting them feels like a priority. And my family. My children and their extremely demanding needs and exhausting relentlessness. I needed to bring my energy in and get creative about how we all stay home and stay sane and get done what we need to, and then get by with the rest. If I pretended I could do all this and work 6 hours a day in my coaching business then I was going to go insane. And although I did not want to let go of what it was, until I do, it can not become the very thing it’s meant to be. And I didn’t even know what that was meant to look like, but it was not like business as usual.
Don’t let this time/any time take you out. If you are exhausted, rest. If you are sad, cry. If you’re loving some things, do them more. If you don’t know what to do next, pause. If you want to create something amazing and have time and space, go for it. If you can’t, find a notebook of dreams and start taking notes. Your time is coming. I promise.
I spoke to my kinesiologist about my frustration as life started to shift back to ‘normal’ and I said, “it just has to mean something”. And she said, “Does it really?” and in that moment I stopped trying to make it all mean something and just got present with what it is. 💜 ...
One of those days when it’s important to wear your name on your jumper!
2 kiddos home with sore throats and snot, a cold sore brewing, a new program to run and create (creating on the go is my favourite kind of creating, it’s like doing Uni assignments at the last minute - I can’t tell you how all my best work was created moments before the deadline died). Have had our most wonderful cleaner here this morning sorting out the remnants of the dust storm. I want to hashtag blessed but then I’d also want to punch myself in the face. So let’s just say I’m freaking grateful for her and am off to boost my immunity with some rest.
Going to hang with snot monsters on the couch, and diffuse the shit out of them.