Don’t settle, petal.
The easiest way to get stuck where you are is to make it OK. OK is fine if it works for you, but mostly OK doesn’t work. Not long term.
Long term OK breeds resentment. Long term OK is an energy stealer and a mojo thief. Long term OK is where depression gets a foothold, and/or anxiety starts calling. Long term OK is not what you were put here to do.
Getting out of the settling pattern requires bold action. It generally feels uncomfortable. Settling is right in middle of comfort zone central. Which on the surface seems comfortable, but in the end is like being drowned (smuffocated) by the stuffing of 1000 pillows. Which is horrible right?
Initially you’ll need bold action. Long term you’ll need to keep showing up. But none of this will require you to hustle any more that you’ve already been hustling to make all the not-OK things OK. Do you know how much work that is?
If you’re sick of being busy and exhausted and overwhelmed and drowning then we should talk. If OK is not-OK with you we should make time short-term, to change things long term.
Have a cuppa with me.
Make a tea. Take an hour.
Get strategic and purposeful about the life you actually want to be living.
PS What happens when you get out from under the OK. Pic byTim Stief on Unsplash
I had always had a dream. A sense of wanting more from my life than mediocre.
I may have framed it up as competition and being driven, but everything I did was motivated by a sense inside in me that I wanted my life to mean something, and I couldn’t just take the regular road.
One morning, the discovery of my (impending) fourth daughter and a certainty I would be doing it alone was a massive wake up call for me. I’d already decided I was going to be a life coach, and start my own business and help people find their own pathway to the life that they wanted. It seemed hilarious and ironic that my life seemed to be getting less and less like the one I hoped for. But, here’s the thing. My beautiful dream. Happened. Because I asked the right questions, and I found that the dream was actually fuelled by purpose. And so I couldn’t not do it.
I found out what was needed to make a dream happen.
Space – Around you. To breathe. To create. To be.
Rising – Within yourself. Showing up. Being more.
Support – Foundation. Something supportive to surround you.
I did not find these things easily or immediately. In fact, like any good process I found them and lost them again and again. But in the end, they all lead me back to the centre of everything. Purpose.
Your path to purpose, like mine, has likely been a convoluted one. Mine involved many children, much relationship turmoil, many different jobs, many moments of thinking I might have found the way and many realising I was still lost.
I do not believe I am here (in the world, writing this, doing what I do) because I am different or better or more able to manage. I believe I am here because we are all the SAME.
I believe we all have a gift to the world. That through our own becoming we pave the way for others. My purpose has always been to find the gift inside me and then help others find theirs. Like that kid in “The Sixth Sense” I see things not all people can see. To say that out loud the first time was totally freaky to me. I don’t see dead people though – I see people’s magic, their purpose, their potential, all that is possible for them…and my job, if they are in front of me, is to help them bring it out. That is all.
A life on purpose is a very different life than the one that feels like an accident. I have four children, and only one them was “planned”. I seemed to go through life knowing there was more for me, but trying to get it by doing more, being busier, getting more qualifications and recognition, all whilst have more children and mostly being a single parent.
Did that make me brave? Did that make me amazing? Or did it just make me out of control?
A life on purpose has choice. I choose how I’m going to show up, who I’m going to show up with and what I do with my time, and how to do my work in a life that has many competing facets – motherhood, relationships, family, work, learning, living.