Now that my kids are older, I no longer have an au pair, but I did for a long time.
An au pair is not a fancy nanny. Well it could be a fancy nanny, if I were in fact a fancy lady.
But I’m not a fancy lady. I’m just a woman, with kids, who wants to work on some amazing shiz as well as be a parent and a girlfriend and an aunty and a daughter and a sister and….well you get it. A pretty normal kind of person who has kids and works.
Because I want to and choose to. Because although I love my children and can do housework and generally juggle everything, I don’t want to ALL the stuff ALL of the time. I love my job. I’m freaking great at it, but to be really magic at it I need to have space and time and focus and not be worrying about the next school pick-up or trying to fit everything in 2.5 hours before Kindy finishes or dinner or the state of the house when I walk back in there after work.
The thing that makes me freaking great at my job is my support system. I don’t do it all. I have at various times tried to do it all. I can. I was a superangrycrazylady (YES that IS a word).
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I had always had a dream. A sense of wanting more from my life than mediocre.
I may have framed it up as competition and being driven, but everything I did was motivated by a sense inside in me that I wanted my life to mean something, and I couldn’t just take the regular road.
One morning, the discovery of my (impending) fourth daughter and a certainty I would be doing it alone was a massive wake up call for me. I’d already decided I was going to be a life coach, and start my own business and help people find their own pathway to the life that they wanted. It seemed hilarious and ironic that my life seemed to be getting less and less like the one I hoped for. But, here’s the thing. My beautiful dream. Happened. Because I asked the right questions, and I found that the dream was actually fuelled by purpose. And so I couldn’t not do it.
I found out what was needed to make a dream happen.
Space – Around you. To breathe. To create. To be.
Rising – Within yourself. Showing up. Being more.
Support – Foundation. Something supportive to surround you.
I did not find these things easily or immediately. In fact, like any good process I found them and lost them again and again. But in the end, they all lead me back to the centre of everything. Purpose.
Your path to purpose, like mine, has likely been a convoluted one. Mine involved many children, much relationship turmoil, many different jobs, many moments of thinking I might have found the way and many realising I was still lost.
I do not believe I am here (in the world, writing this, doing what I do) because I am different or better or more able to manage. I believe I am here because we are all the SAME.
I believe we all have a gift to the world. That through our own becoming we pave the way for others. My purpose has always been to find the gift inside me and then help others find theirs. Like that kid in “The Sixth Sense” I see things not all people can see. To say that out loud the first time was totally freaky to me. I don’t see dead people though – I see people’s magic, their purpose, their potential, all that is possible for them…and my job, if they are in front of me, is to help them bring it out. That is all.
A life on purpose is a very different life than the one that feels like an accident. I have four children, and only one them was “planned”. I seemed to go through life knowing there was more for me, but trying to get it by doing more, being busier, getting more qualifications and recognition, all whilst have more children and mostly being a single parent.
Did that make me brave? Did that make me amazing? Or did it just make me out of control?
A life on purpose has choice. I choose how I’m going to show up, who I’m going to show up with and what I do with my time, and how to do my work in a life that has many competing facets – motherhood, relationships, family, work, learning, living.