The biggest question that keeps arising is “Is now the right time? How would I know if I should leap now?” And we are SO good at not creating the space and the time to fully address the question, so the answer can become clear.
Yes. Now is the right time. The time is now.
And the leap is not into doing something big or huge (just yet) but into doing the biggest and hugest thing – which is stopping and honouring, creating space and emptying out everything that is not satisfying at a soul level – so that what is can arise.
And how to do this? Well, you start by creating space. Declutter a corner, a desk, a nook, a daybed. Navigate some time (yes I get there can often be little people or other big people around who may be used to your constant presence, but also there are many ways of leveraging 30 mins to yourself). You cannot tell me this is impossible. If you did I would tell you that you are resisting the very thing that will answer your questions. Or at least create the space to give you the idea of what you can do/who you can speak to/what exists to find the answers. Make a cup of tea. Light a candle or some incense. Find something you like to write in and write all the questions out. And keep writing in the space and see what arises. You cannot keep waiting for the ‘time to be right’ to do the necessary things to get clarity. The time never comes because our resistance is stronger. There will always be a justification or a digression.
The unexpressed emotion that I’ve been refusing to honour (by completely ignoring and being 90% sure in my logical brain doesn’t exist) takes up space for my creativity. It gets represented physically in ways that stop me doing exercise which shifts and moves more than just my arms and legs. It makes me resentful of others, as though somehow they are responsible for the way I feel (or don’t feel). The process of honouring is simple. And usually involves me writing it out. And suddenly in making the space I am more spacious. And there is more time. And more happens and all the opportunities open up and I am clear which ones to take and all happens in perfect time. ...
Be patient. If you have had weak personal boundaries for years, and now trying to honour them, be aware that this change doesn't happen overnight.You might ace it one day/week and then find you get wobbly again when you get tired or overwhelmed or challenged.
Disengaging from the emotions and beliefs that sit beneath weak boundaries requires practice, and sometimes it requires professional support. As in, someone to help you recognise what you cannot. Or someone who is patient and kind enough with you (more patient and kind than you are to yourself) while you work it out.
The start is always with awareness and then to challenge the limiting beliefs that undermine your practice of setting boundaries. ...