It’s kind of funny to me that once upon a time I thought that living my purpose would mean I was unable to stop (which was already my experience of life, but all out general busyness not purpose driven busyness). What I’ve discovered is the more purposeful I become, the less busy I am. The less I am trying to fill the void (with achievement, accolades, love, attention, permission, validation, things and stuff) the more full, complete and whole my experience of life is.
And when I look up the meaning of purpose and the words that are similar, they are all masculine energy words – like ambition, project, function, determination, destination, motive – which was never how I experienced purpose at all. I for sure wanted to know the point, and I centred my life around intention but to me purpose was never an endpoint or a destination, it was always an energy. And to fully embrace that required a level of stillness and self-enquiry that no amount of doing could achieve. That no amount of validation of external acceptance could create. That unless it was centred in this energy would ultimately be unfulfilling.
I spent so many years unfulfilled, even whilst achieving all kinds of amazing things, and growing humans and seeking answers in unlikely places (mostly other humans, especially ones I was in relationships with). And the times I mostly felt on-purpose was when I sat down with intention and wrote. Or stood up, with intention, and spoke.
This year, 2021, I’ve done two speaking engagements at Long Lunches in rural communities. With 100+ mostly women attending. Most simply, standing up and speaking makes me feel alive. On purpose. Purposeful.
Speaking comes easily and naturally to me and it’s something I’ve done for years (I even competed at Countryweek in Perth back in the day on the debating team. I picked debating because in Year 10 it was unlikely I had the sporting prowess to get on one of the sport teams, and it was worth public speaking to get to go to Perth for a week with mostly year 11 and 12s). But I got better as I got older because I got more purposeful, more whole, more holy. I went inward and asked for guidance about what was the best thing to say and trusted in my own guidance system for this. I cared less about myself (and worrying about what people might think or say about me) and more about the message. I focussed on the sole (soul) purpose of showing up for the one (or two) people who might need to hear what I had to say, who might stop the craziness of doing and check-in and find their way home. I stopped being so caught up in the story of the farm girl trying to impress her dad and get love from the outside places and learnt that loving myself just meant being myself. Not hiding. Not pretending. Not trying to be the version of myself that would be more acceptable to other people. And the more I became myself, the easier (I believe) it was to love me.
I believe we all have magic in us. I create programs to help get the magic out. To craft it alive. I create programs to help with the loving yourself bit too. And becoming. A lot of work on becoming. I became a purpose coach because I believe power and purpose are intimately connected, and we need to restore power to ourselves so we can begin the work. The world is messy, and full of fear, but I believe the whole and holy can change this by becoming more self-centred (centred in self but connected to the world) and less self-absorbed. There’s a way, I promise.
My newest, sweet creation is purposeFULL. An exploration of all the things purpose.
- First we rise.
- Then we use our courage to show up as our most authentic/real/true/whole self.
- Then we explore. Why?
- And then we expand.
Come with. Hand on heart, I know this is the place to start.
You can find out everything here – purposeFULL
Big Loves
Fleur x
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