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Today I brought this picture called “Stop being so busy”.

This is a picture painted by an amazing and beautiful artist I know called Holly. She also happens to be one of my clients, and she happens to have painted me 4 other artworks before amongst other things. All animals. 3 chooks and a Phoenix. So mostly real animals and one mythical creature.

This artwork is part of her latest solo exhibition called ONE. WILD. LIFE. I wanted it from the first time I saw it, but I always want artwork, so told myself to calm down and just see. You know SEE. Just see if it still spoke to me in a week or so.

Today I did a session with my spiritual teacher. I have loathed to call him that because I have wondered about how a spiritual teacher fits, even though the magical side of what I do is all about spirit. And because some part of me has not wanted to acknowledge that he is, and has always been, one of my great teachers. During the session we talked about the complexities of me. I do believe his opening sentence was “You perplex me”. The complexities of my perplexities (OMG that is ACTUALLY a WORD!).

I believe I have a mission. And doing that has been one of the easiest things for me. The doing. But alongside my mission has been motherhood, and the (it seems) never-ending struggle of doing both well, without giving up on either. And I just created this thing (well I wrote it and my PA made it precious and beautiful) called the “The Red Hot Guide to Gracious Juggling” and it’s about how you need to STOP doing the wrong everything to do your mission. And although I saw it about the mission, my children are so wound up in that too, and everything I wrote is just as applicable to parenthood as to purpose work. And I am working this out.

Stay with me. This all comes together.

My latest Facebook Ad campaign is to promote my Red Hot Guide, and the image I created to go with the ad says “Stop being so busy”. Just by chance. I did not know (consciously) that this picture was called that. And it all came together this week. In the middle of the conversation with my spiritual teacher I knew I had to let Holly know I wanted the picture (but I couldn’t because when you are online with your spiritual teacher you don’t go messaging other people AND also my phone was at the repair shop getting a new screen and even though I was feeling anxious without it, it’s come back better than ever AND I had time to message Holly about her picture. And brought the shit out of it!).

And then I remembered I had a massage yesterday with another of my ridiculously amazing friends Katie and at the end she said “Just so you know, I saw a cat. Off to the west. Whatever you make of that.” I tried to find out if it was a BIG CAT or just a house cat (probably secretly hoping it was a cougar) but she said it was strong but she couldn’t say (and Hamish, our big ginger house cat is tougher than any cougar anyway). Anyway I thought nothing more of it, except perhaps of Googling cat as a spiritual animal.

Which I just did then, to make this a better post. And it says:

The cat totem wisdom tells us about timing in action and courage to explore the unknown. Those who have the cat as spirit animal may be encouraged to develop balance between independence and time of togethernessanimal totem website (I. Can. Not. Even. Talk. About. This). I mean seriously – my mission is my independence, my family is my togetherness. And balance? What the freaking???

Then I remembered that once at a training session a women doing personality profiling stuff asked us to name an animal we felt represented us. The training was when I worked as a Rural Financial Counsellor and the other Counsellors were mostly men or women ex-banking and accounting (in case you need context). Great people, but possibly not into spiritual guides or animal totems. I said I wanted to be a cat because they are often curled up on the bed asleep in the sunbeam. She said I couldn’t have cat because I was obviously just feeling cold and a bit tired. I was affronted but chose dolphin instead (picturing a dolphin swimming freely through the waves). She then talked for ages about how SEXUAL dolphins are and how the males will gang up on a fertile female and have sex with her repeatedly, amongst other confronting facts about dolphins. I wished I has just stuck with cat. Seriously. This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought you might find it amusing.

So, once I finished with my spiritual teacher and hot-footed to get my shiny new screened phone, I messaged Holly and brought this picture. And told her the story about the teacher and the massage and she reminded my that that’s exactly the same way my phoenix picture came to be – my spiritual teacher told me to meditate (and I hated him for it) and because I found it hard, I got my friend Katie to teach me and during a meditation I saw a phoenix, and then I asked Holly to paint it because I didn’t like the ones I found on the internet.

Perhaps they are all in cahoots these people of mine? Or perhaps I am being guided and what I am seeking is seeking me? (thank you Rumi x)

And until I stopped being so busy I had no idea this was what was waiting for me.

But it is glory. In all it’s glory.

What you seek is seeking you


Author Fleur

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