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I recall when I was 20 that 40 seemed like such a long way away. And perhaps if I had bothered to think about how I thought my life would be when I was 40 I would have thought that perhaps by 40 I’d have it together in some kind of way. I’m not sure that how my life is at 40 is quite what I expected, but then to be honest I don’t think I really thought about it. I just got here anyway. And I believe it’s grand. And here are a few reasons why:

    1. I have 4 beautiful daughters, one of whom is an adult now too. But I’m still cool enough to enjoy it with her and share clothes.
    2. My ten year old also thinks I’m cool, and although her dress style is slightly more “Goth trash” than I like, my knee high black boots are always a winner in her dress up games.
    3. Miss 3 says I’m the “best mum in the world”
    4. My girl who is five thinks I’m extra beautiful when I put on lipstick, and because I’m 40 I finally know what colour tones suit and basically how to apply it.
    5. The fashion is cooler than when I was in my “prime” youth.
    6. I look better in skinny jeans now than I ever did. Especially since “acid wash” stove-pipes aren’t in vogue in my hometown right now.
    7. I like who I am at 40. I like the woman in the mirror and I like that she likes who and how she is. I like what that feels like, to be comfortable with you.
    8. When you’re forty it’s OK to perve loudly on much younger men and them not feel threatened that you might eat them up. And if they do feel threatened you don’t care.
    9. It doesn’t matter how old or young your friends are. You choose them because they’re mint to hang out with, and mint people are the most fun, and the mintest. And they are the kind of people who like being called mint.
    10. All that weird family stuff where I thought I was worried about impressing my Dad or doing the right thing by my Mum or competing with my siblings has just gone, and I just love who they are as people.
    11. When I stay with my family I now have money to buy groceries (and not just beer) or go out to dinner (somewhere a bit fancy), and everyone is just a bit more grown up and has nicer things and houses and comfortable spare beds (and even just spare beds at all!)
    12. I’m OK with the return of the bush. I don’t have to look like a squeaky clean porn star, but can still act like one with bush (when gap year is over of course!)
    13. I love my job, and I’ve found the job I love, and I’m doing it. Most days.
    14. I can write a blog and be completely honest about being a bit psycho, and people relate to it and I don’t worry that they might judge me. Apparently they all feel the same, and I don’t think that that many people would say that just to make me feel better.
    15. I don’t worry if people judge me.
    16. I know how to hug people and mean it with my whole heart. And it doesn’t feel awkward.
    17. I figured out I used to drink to have deep and intense conversations with people, and now I do that every day in my office whilst completely sober I don’t really drink much anymore. I am therefore rarely hung over and eat heaps less fried food. My body loves me for that.
    18. I’ve had four babies and my body still rocks it. At 40 I’m OK with being vain. I think giving yourself thumbs up when you are naked is healthy and empowering.
    19. I’m not scared of public speaking. I never actually was but my stories at 40 are way more interesting and impressive. Thank you life for those stories.
    20. I know how to love people – deeply, truly and intensely. That feels good, and I’m not scared of doing that again. The not being scared is something to do with being 40.
    21. I’m so much better at getting better. Something that took me two years to recover from when I was 20 took 6 months when I was 39. It doesn’t mean that at times I don’t feel sad, or reminisce with a strange sense of disappointment, but I’m comfortable with that. And I really, truly believe it’s going to be OK. In fact it already is.
    22. I’m halfway through the list so I’m going to write a point about nothing to see if you’re still with me
    23. As of 4 days ago I have 7 nephews and one niece. That is crazy funny for a lady who has 4 daughters. They come from a mixed up make up, but at 40 I see how it all connects. I’m a better aunty at 40 because finally I’m not the one with the little babies.
    24. I’m not the one with the little babies anymore. Even thought I spread it out over 15 good years, I do not intend to be the mother of anymore little babies. That’s kind of a relief. I’m all for the next 15 years of kids until Miss 3 gets to adulthood. Phew.
    25. One of the best things about being a grown up is you get more relaxed about behaving like a kid sometimes and  just going with it. Going with it is so 40.
    26. I know that it’s smarter to clean up after a party than before it. I still clean up before on most occasions except for toddler parties. Then I definitely just leave it.
    27. I like it that on some occasions some people say that I still look like I’m 20. You shoulda seen me at 20. I look better!!!!
    28. I enjoy eating healthy food at 40, and have been fortunate enough that I still look the same as when I ate heaps more shit food and drank more beer. Beer doesn’t serve me. I know this now. Neither does black sambucca (even though I like it!).
    29. Dark chocolate wins, hands down.
    30. I now know that some people are just not meant to be part of my life, even if I thought differently. When I was 25 I was traumatized by the one person in my life who didn’t seem to like me, instead of just being happy with the hundreds of other people who did. Krystal I am not traumatized anymore, but it seems I will never forget your name.
    31. I am incredibly grateful for the people who are meant to be part of my life and who surround me.
    32. I finally know that I have a style! It’s called “eclectic”. And it works. So instead of having no particular style I like a total mix of styles and that’s my style. Finally my house looks like my house.
    33. I’m OK admitting that I want a man in my life who will look after me. I know I’m smart, funny and capable and more than adept at pulling off anything life throws at me. But I also know there is someone who will adore me and be my place to rest. And I’m a bit excited about him. Once I would have wondered if it was possible to find someone like that.
    34. I know the value of good skin products. I know you should have a daily skin routine and it will benefit you. I didn’t start properly until I was 35 and if I could suggest something to my younger farm toting, outdoorsy self I would suggest more skin care. And to learn to apply make-up.
    35. Laughter is medicine. So are dress-up parties. And not kid’s ones. Real, grown up parties where people wear costumes.
    36. An open house party would have been dangerous at 20. At 40 it just means the real fun-lovers will be there too.
    37. Doing what I love every day. And at 40 finally knowing what that is!
    38. Enjoying having a king-sized bed to myself, and sometimes (very rarely) being alone in my house, and enjoying my own company. Once I would have done anything to escape. Now I like it.
    39. What hasn’t killed me made me stronger. Seriously. But more open too. SO stronger and softer at the time. If that makes sense?
    40. Not caring if any of this makes sense to anyone except myself.

Thank you 40. Thank you for being so magnificent!


Author Fleur

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