These are the kinda sunnies that you buy for $19.99 from the servo when you’re mad.
When you’ve been fighting with Miss 6 since 6.47am.
When you’re late for SUP yoga because you can’t find your spare sunnies because you can’t wear your best sunnies because you might (will) fall in.
When you’re on your way to drop your children off to their Dad and there’s all this stuff that needs saying about how that is.
These are the kinda sunnies that are for glaring at your ex with. When you want things to be different than they are. And they’re not.
These are the kinds sunnies that hide your tears as you drive away from your children, simultaneously relieved of the pressure and guilty for feeling relieved. Especially after being mad after all the fighting at 6.47am.
These are the kinda sunnies you wear to SUP yoga, only to be so simultaneously angry and relieved to be child free that you don’t have a good look down the beach for the crew and decide it’s not on. When it is on. But you missed it because the cheap-ass, angry lady sunnies do not block UV and too much of the UV must’ve got in your eye!
These are the kinda sunnies that take you to your friends’ balcony, to have a quick coffee and a cry about all the of the above, whilst wearing said sunnies (once again) so no-one can see the tears.
These are the kinda sunnies you wear to Bunnings to do all those jobs you’ve been meaning to do for ages (usually involving picture hooks and indoor plants or some additional storage thingy). You can push them right up on your head and SMIRK openly at the people in Bunnings with their kids while you are kid free. (These are the kinda sunnies kid-free people wear to Bunnings). You can especially feel smirky to all the poor parents stuck outside the play area, sitting on the outdoor settings waiting for their children to come while you calmly and coolly wander through the aisles having no fucking idea where anything is. Bunnings is just like that.
These are the kinda sunnies to wave casually at the 18-year olds having a “quiet” pool party at your house all afternoon. They are having fun – drinking beer, looking hot in their bikinis, no responsibilities. They are not quiet, but that was always going to be an oxymoron.
These are the kinda sunnies that if I met a guy my age wearing (and they were this style but not from the servo) I would think he was hot. Just saying.
These are the kinda sunnies that eventually you have to take off, so you can stop glaring and weeping and smirking and being all casual. And just let people see you. All of you. Even the cheap-ass, angry lady bit. And then you don’t feel angry anymore. And you have a massage, and help your friend pack to go away for two months and then eat real pizza at the beach while the sun sets over the ocean, and for that bit, these are the kinda sunnies that just stay in the car, for use in emergencies and SUP yoga only!
These are the kinda sunnies that look cool on a SUP board. And in B&W cheap-ass, angry lady selfies.
These are the kinda sunnies you don’t need to see this sunset….