My Halloween Nightmare

My girls love Halloween. They love freaky costumes, and funny Halloween themed food, and they really love the whole trick or treat thing. Halloween isn’t super big in Australia (in fact today I believe I saw on Facebook a page entitled “Halloween is un-Australian”), but about 5 or 6 years ago we had friends over from the UK on Halloween, and there was a big Halloween party and excellent costumes, and a trick and treating frenzy, and since then my girls have thought Halloween was the bomb.

I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness (which I’m sure I have talked about before, and will probably come up again before I’m done) so we didn’t celebrate Halloween (or for that matter Christmas, birthdays, Easter or anything else deemed a pagan celebration). If I was still fearful of going down in Armageddon, Halloween would be the celebration that would ensure it – devils and zombies and spiders and all forms of evil. But that’s not what scares me about Halloween. I’m still scarred by the door-knocking.

I can’t do it. Not even for the possibility of lollies. Last year (or maybe the one before?) I’m pretty sure I sent the kids off (during daylight) trick or treating down our street without adult supervision. I did sit on the front deck and ensure they came out of each house, but there was no way I could go with them. This year, the excitement is growing, the costume box is out and the pressure is on, but fortunately we have an au pair (two in fact) who are happy to dress up and don’t have a door-knocking phobia.

I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? In our not very geared-up for Halloween country it’s unlikely a zombie will greet you at the door. Once people turned their sprinklers on as we drew near (this was one of the other years when I did manage to wander the streets in semi-darkness with the girls, but I made sure their Dad did the door-knocking bit with them and I lurked in the shadows like the zombie-bride), and sometimes (oh horror) people pretend not to be home. Some poor unprepared folks have given my kids fruit or money or packets of Arnott’s biscuits instead of lollies because they didn’t have anything in the cupboard. We have never egged anyone’s house and been threatened by reciprocal egg action. No-one has chased me or the kids with a broom. I believe JW’s have been treated worse, but I still can’t face it.

I am going to dress up, to appease my children and the au pairs (OK, OK and because I like it!!!), who I have no doubt will be out in spectacular style. They have picked a costume for my guy that is a lot like a Zenti suit (Google “Zenti” if you’re curious, we saw it on a fetish show on Foxtel (if I was going down in Armageddon fetish shows would be my downfall!)) and includes an afro and a scarf. I don’t think he’ll wear it, but the idea is amusing enough. I have a bag-full of chocolates for any kiddies who come knocking (but we have an outside gate and so far, no matter how Halloween friendly we’ve made our house look, no-one has ever come on Halloween). If you’re my friend and live in our town and are limited for options for your kids, they will definitely get a chocolate delivered by a zombie-bride at our house! We might even make freaky Halloween cookies tomorrow after school.

So that’s it, my Halloween nightmare. The good news is you won’t catch me witnessing anytime soon, if I can’t even door-knock for lollies. Have a fun Halloween zombies all.