The amount of time, effort, planning, bribery and growling that went into creating the moment of coordinated afternoon nap, may have been more stressful than honouring the punishment of “no fireworks” tonight if they didn’t. Until the actually moment both their breathing went regular, and then I’d do it all for another hour for THAT MOMENT AGAIN!
I had already planned the photo for the blog, at the point where they were both in separate beds and had not yet both needed a drink, to go to the toilet, to get another bear, to be in a bed together, to swap beds, to open the curtains, and to sharpen pencils (this was Miss nearly Three in her bigger sister’s bedroom with the electric pencil sharpener, and the moment I said, “RIGHT, THAT’S IT” and lay down with her on the bed and said Shhhhhh a lot until she went to sleep). Not sure what I would have written about if it didn’t work but I reckon it would have contained a few swear words. Unlike this which will only contain one or two.
It’s Saturday afternoon and the house is completely quiet. It’s unbelievable. The aim of my day was to find some graciousness (something I’m obviously not afraid to state I’m lacking!). On Thursday morning I rocked up at my training course all in a tiz about the challenges my guy and I are having within our blended family around parenting peacefully (fark it, is there ever peace with nearly 3 year olds?) and I said, “man I have got to find some fucking graciousness! I really need some of that shit!” at which everyone laughed because I’m not sure they’d ever heard someone chase graciousness so ungraciously or uncouthly!
I have struggled with it all week, I didn’t find it on Thursday or much on Friday, until the evening when I went to my sister’s house with lots of our friends and our kids and ate dude food and debriefed. But then my plan was to wear the little two out so much that when we got home I would carry them one by one to bed without another peep. And they talked all the way home, I told them of my plan, it failed miserably and resulted in the aforementioned nearly three having screaming fit at 10pm and waking up our house, the neighbourhood, and possibly the whole town. And I was very fucking ungracious about that.
So today I started again, and so far I’m winning and not just with the coordinated nap.
How to grow some graciousness if you are a girl/woman/mother (for guys I think there is a different process which involves a man cave and perhaps something more manly to aim for).
- Light some scented candles upon waking in at least 2 different locations in your house.
- Apologise if you need to anyone and everyone who has been copping your ungraciousness (regardless of what the rest of the story is!)
- Eat a really yum and healthy wholefood breakfast.
- De-nit your kid’s hair. OK. Don’t do this is you can help it because it really challenges any form of grace. However if it is possible that some of the irritation in your house is being caused by head lice then I recommend it. Even do your own hair, in case, because at least later in the day you will have beautiful, clean, shiny hair.
- Catch up with a lovely girly friend who has some kids about the same age so they can all play together and let you hang out and talk and potter outside, and laugh about the challenges of parenting kids who think pouring Milo on the dog is a good idea.
- Coordinate a nap for the kids. I know this may seem almost as ridiculous as de-nitting, but once it’s done its even more rewarding than clean, bug free hair. I promise. If you’re tired have a nap too (unfortunately I’m taking some new herbal supplements and I’m pinging, but generally I’ll take the nap). If you chose this option, don’t sleep as long at the kids and make sure you get up while they’re both still asleep so you can enjoy the quiet ALONE for a moment before they wake up all sparkly-eyed ready for the fireworks!
- Write a blog (or paint a picture, or play in the garden or bake something yummy or read a book) or do something you love for some of coordinated nap time.
- Make a really lame photo montage to add to the blog (unless you are good at this, then make a cool one!). This is just about doing something creative, slowly, thoughtfully and with graciousness (or lameness if that amuses you).
- Give yourself a little bit of love for being human and needing some time to get lovely again.
It’s pretty windy, so I hope it settles in time for the fireworks tonight or I’ll have a couple of wild, well rested children on my hands with nothing to do and no concept what being gracious is all about!
Ahhhhhhhh, grace, you rock my world.
Join the discussion 4 Comments
Fleur, love your writing. After a few hours selling burgers in the wind and hot sun I was feeling very ungracious but I’ll have a shower and a wine and hopefully I’ll be there. Enjoy the fireworks and keep writing!!
Fleur, I think the wind is making us all a little ungracious 🙂 Love to you all xxx
Fleur, love your blog – ungraciousnesss is such a cool word, went to Christina’s yesterday and also was probably very ungracious, however left feeling ALIVE and after reading this today, realise we all have our demons to deal with (not that your beautiful girls are demons) and now graciousness is another one! xx hope you got to the fworks xx
Hahaha … not that your beautiful girls are demons … having seen the bigger of the two little ones at nap-time when she doesn’t want to go down, there is perhaps a little bit of demon blood in there … or ungraciousness even. I think you are mostly gracious, even in amongst the crazy cool set up you have going on there. I just posted on the ungraciousness of neighbourhood kids knocking on my door too early on a Sunday, and how ungracious I was to even think of being cross. It will be my word of the week! xx